How to maintain a long-lasting high school relationship


Photo courtesy of Zosia Wilczek

Zosia Wilczek and Oscar Frampton.

By Megan Mesikapp, Assistant Editor

When Zosia Wilczek began dating fellow junior Oscar Frampton she wasn’t expecting a long-term relationship, because of the initial spread of COVID-19 back in 2020. 

However, Wilczek and Frampton have been dating for almost two years now with their anniversary being April 10, 2020. 

The relationship began when one of Wilczek’s good friends, Julia Koziol, introduced the pair. From there Wilczek and Frampton started talking and eventually dating. 

Despite them both being really busy, they’re making it work. 

“He has club soccer and I have a club dance… and then Polish school,” Wilczek said. 

This takes away more time with each other on top of time dedicated to schoolwork. 

However, the couple manages to spend quality time with each other, as they both go to the gym together regularly and see each other on days off of school. 

This year especially, the couple has learned about the need for flexibility in high school relationships. 

“Flexibility is a big thing just because in school — especially junior year — you’re very busy and need to be aware that she’s very busy as well,” Frampton said. 

Especially in high school relationships, it’s important to understand that the pair doesn’t need to be together 24/7.

 “They still love you, even if you’re not with them every second of the day,” Wilczek said. 

The other important thing for high school couples to recognize is knowing each other’s love languages in relation to building up communication skills, according to Wilczek.  

“You’ll know how to show them affection better,” Wilczek said.

There are five love languages that were founded by Dr. Gary Chapman: words of affirmation show love and appreciation for another person; quality time involves focusing undivided attention on someone; physical touch is when people receive affection through touch; acts of service require doing thoughtful, helpful deeds; lastly, receiving gifts would involve giving gifts to your partner allowing both sides to feel satisfactory. 

Knowing and communicating how you give and receive love ultimately creates a longer, stronger and healthier relationship according to Wilczek and Frampton.

Naomi Epstein, a senior at Lane, has been dating her boyfriend for three years. But unlike Wilczek and Frampton who both go to Lane, Epstein’s boyfriend attends Saint Ignatius College Prep. 

Going to different schools makes seeing each other more difficult, but Epstein enjoys it more and still manages to see her boyfriend two to three times a week.

“I actually like it more because we have to take the time out of our day to see each other,” said Epstein. 

Epstein has also committed to Tulane University, but her boyfriend did not apply there so they already know come fall, they will be attending different universities. 


“We haven’t really talked about it that much, but it’s very hard to make something like that work,” Epstein said. 

Regardless of what happens in the future, Epstein has various pieces of advice for students who want to have a successful, lasting relationship like hers. 

“I would say push against the norm and don’t talk to each other twenty-four seven,” said Epstein. 

Today, many relationships are based on popular social media apps such as Snapchat, according to Epstein. 

“I would urge people to kind of get off Snapchat and call each other at the end of the day,” said Epstein.

According to Pew Research Center, 65% of Snapchat’s users are teenagers, and 45% of users say they open and use the app several times per day.   

Diamond Dadej, an honors civics and United States history teacher at Lane, attended Lane while she was in high school. During that time, Dadej was in a relationship for a year and a half. Similar to Epstein, Dadej has noticed the “increase of internet usage” with relationships, especially via social media. 

“The amount of affection demonstrated in the hallways or publicly hasn’t changed much. I think that’s really stayed the same, but just the amount of communication, like via your cell phone, has increased exponentially,” Dadej said. 

Students should also “take your time,” according to Epstein, because of the pressure that is put on students from others with the idea of talking and being together all the time. 

This pressure can lead to students dedicating all of their time to the person they are in a relationship with, but there has to be a balance between your significant other and other people in your social circle. 

“Spend more time with your friends. You have your whole life ahead of you to fall in love and honestly, your academics and your personal life, will thank you,” Dadej said. 

But, the biggest takeaway for those who are in or plan on maintaining a long-term relationship in high school: remember to always be patient. 

“[High school relationships] take a lot of self-reflection and realization,” Dadej said. 

And most importantly, help each other grow as people. 

“You have to grow individually together,” Wilczek said.