Advice so nice you’ll read it twice
By Mary Presley
Dear Mary,
There’s this guy who I’ll call “Jake.” We have known each other since freshman year. I’ve had classes with him up until this year. We used to flirt, talk, and goof around all the time. I always thought he was cute, but nothing more…he always seemed to have a girlfriend.
Junior year, I started liking him…a lot. My feelings I guess grew for him over the years and junior year my feelings for him were deep. He’d always play with my hair, or crack jokes all day. But, throughout the years of knowing him, I learned he can be quite a jerk.
He is very good looking and is one of those guys that knows he’s hot stuff. Girls flirt and try things with him all the time, so I don’t think I was ever on his mind in that way. I know I made it clear that I liked him in that way, and he didn’t respond to my message.
This year we don’t have any classes together. Now he completely ignores me; doesn’t even say ‘hi’ to me in the halls! He knew I liked him a lot. I try to forget about him but I can’t. Sometimes I think maybe just a little fling or one make out session with him with help me get over him.I know that’s a bad thing to do…but i’m tired of being the good girl all the time! Mary, if you have any advice on how to get over him or what I should tell him or just do about the situation, I would appreciate it!
~ sincerely,
Confused 🙁
Dear Confused,
Wow, I can totally relate to you one hundred percent. Sometimes us good girls try to spice up our lives by taking chances and coming outside of our shells. This is totally okay, but not to the point where you have to do things you know are wrong.
I know you do not want to become just another one of Jake’s “girls,” so never do something that you and your gut feeling do not agree on. You seem like a smart girl that does not need a big headed jerk like Jake. I know he is cute, flirtatious, and hard to resist, but you have to let him go. He is not the type of boy you should want as a boyfriend. Keep him strictly under the “crush” category in your mind – a boy you absolutely like, but will never ever go there with.
Jake seems like a shameless heart breaker who obviously treats his victims the same way he has treated you. I would tell you that whatever happens do not fall for him, but I think you already did. The best way to get over him is to realize that he is not the boy for you. Think about the future and all the tears you will shed and all the times you will say “I’m so stupid,” if you decide to try to make something work with a player like Jake. Never put yourself through something that you can already see yourself regretting.
Maybe when Jake is ready to grow up and stop checking himself out in the mirror he will finally see you. You know what? Don’t even wait around waiting for him to notice you again. If you told him how you felt before, that one time is enough.
As for why he doesn’t speak to you in the hallway, he could feel bad about not liking you as much as you liked him or he really has just not noticed you in the halls. Regardless, move on from Jake. Stop thinking about him, looking at him, asking about him, or going through his pictures on Facebook. There are plenty of boys like Jake, but there are more boys that are better than him. Trust me you don’t need him because he does not need you. And sometimes that’s as good as it gets!!!!
