There are two types of people in this world. There are those who naturally are polite, friendly, and caring. Then there are those who don’t notice anything, or are blatantly rude. I discovered this during my “awkward phase” of eighth grade to freshman year.

I was always one of those kids who wanted to grow up faster, to become an adult as soon as possible. I felt that since I was an only child, and grew up around adults, that I was mature. More mature than most kids my age and more mature than my body made me look.

Because of this, I began to notice how young I actually did look, and how people who had never talked to me before, saw me. I was five and a half feet tall, I had braces, the voice of a ten year old, and the chubbiest cheeks of anyone in the room. Because I had gone to Taft’s academic center, I was so accustomed to seeing everyone else look as young as me, that I forgot that I in fact looked different than adults. After all, I did talk and act like an adult. I practically was an adult, or so I thought.

The first time that I began to notice how people saw me, was during the winter of eighth grade. I was out to a dinner with my family, and when we had finished eating, I put on my coat and went to the door. I opened the door and intended on holding it open for my grandmother, but she was walking very slowly, and the cold air was getting into the restaurant. After about ten seconds, a guy at the bar yelled, “Hey, someone tell this little boy to close that damn door!”

My heart sank, and I froze up. Was this how I looked? Like a little boy? I’m not a little boy! I take the train to go to school! I make my own lunch! I am NOT a little boy that’s for sure.

After the experience at the restaurant, I became very self-conscious about how I looked. I would ask my mom how old I looked, and if I was fatter. Her response would always be, “Oh Paddy, it’s just baby fat, you’ll grow out of it.” That phrase, “baby fat” would haunt me for the next two years of my life. I began to drink slim fast, work out, do neck exercises for my chin fat. I didn’t want to have to just sit and wait around to grow and look older.

After a few months passed, I began to notice myself grow and
change. It, of course, was THE change. And soon, the involuntary insults began to fade, and by the

time I had turned 18, I was six foot three inches tall, weighed 170 pounds, and looked like the teen that I so desperately desired to be.

It happens to everyone, THE change, but everyone reacts to it differently in terms of how they view them- selves. I might have taken it too seriously, and should have just let nature run its course, but I instead chose to work myself up over something that I had no control over and that happened to everyone. But because of this, whenever I see a kid who looks to be around 12-15, I never refer to him as “kid,” or “buddy.” I know how much damage just one of those words can do to a boy’s self esteem during that time of their life. And if I can spare someone the added misery of being called a “little boy” during that uncomfortable period, then I will, because being called “scamp” sucks.