Everything is a competition. Art is not an expression of self but a way to prove that you’re the most worthy of a spot in a museum. Tests are not a way to see how much of the material you remember, they’re a race to finish first. Grades are a standard to live your life by. Sprinkles are for winners and winners only. This is the mentality I had towards everything for as long as I could remember.
When I was 6, I fell off my scooter and watched as my brother scooted ahead. I promptly stood up and walked the rest of the way to the playground. At 10, I decided to permanently shun Monopoly after my dad won for the 5th time. At 12, I passed the Wii controller to my brother the second my kart drove off the Rainbow Road. In my eyes no game was worth playing unless I believed I could win.
Don’t get me wrong, I was aware that being number one isn’t what was important. I knew that simply doing the best that I can is more than enough. But I never truly grasped what that looked like. To me, anything but first place was a consolation prize. A plastic Dollar Tree trophy with “Well, at least you tried” written in bright shiny letters.
Everything changed when I watched this phenomenal TEDTalk. Just kidding! I was scrolling on my For You page, procrastinating on my college hunt when I came across this sentence: “The only person you have to beat is the person you were yesterday.” I was gobsmacked.
I mean, it does make sense. You wouldn’t expect a pen and a pair of scissors to perform the same way, so why would two completely different people?
It didn’t occur to me how limiting and unfair my mindset had been. I believed the only value any work had was given to it by a brutal combination of an arbitrary percentage on a screen and the difference between my percentage and everyone else’s. It didn’t matter if I got a 90% on a test I studied all night for, so long as someone else got a 95%. It didn’t matter that I finally memorized the quadratic formula, if everyone in the class knew it first. There was no room for growth or even consideration of how much effort was put in.
That kind of thinking only works if everyone starts on equal footing, but that’s not exactly the case here. No one truly starts at the same place. Everyone has their own commitments. Their own strengths and experiences. Their own willingness to devote time and energy to each task.
You are the only person with your exact situation. So, the only person you could ever be able to truly and accurately compare yourself to is, well, yourself.
As we all enter into the school year, let’s not forget to slow down. Tests are not a race. Grades are not life or death. Not everything is a competition. As long as you believe you’re doing better than you did yesterday, you’re winning. Take it easy and have some sprinkles, I know I will.
