The first wave of the Post International Days Depression (P.I.D.D.) syndrome started the Monday after Lane’s annual International Days; conditions continue to worsen as more and more academic stress is piled on the (once) I-Days dancers.

Students were seen walking around school, zombie-like, wearing their club hoodies and decked out in full costumes and jewelry. They droned on in the hallways, pin- ing for the good old days when all they would worry about was dancing and not the Trigonometry quizzes or the lab packets or the annotations for English class which were all so conveniently assigned during the cherished annual event.

The second wave of P.I.D.D. syndrome presented yet another concerning symptom: the integration of components of various dance routines into everyday life activities.

Students could be seen doing ‘infinity hands’ when presenting to the class or ‘tinikling’ with school property in gym class when the teacher wasn’t looking or dancing salsa or bachata with staff members in the hallway.

More severe cases of P.I.D.D. seen in students brought with it a sign of infection: lack of motivation. According to teachers at Lane, motivation in students that once participated in International Days was at a record-breaking, all time low.

“It was so hard to get one of my students to even bother taking out a pencil and paper to write with for his in-class essay,” a teacher who thinks it’s a good idea to do essays after International Days said. “All he could talk about was going to the back to the gym because his club would be up next to perform. It was so strange, almost delusional. This student’s case of P.I.D.D.’s was so severe, he still thought I-Days was still happening.”

“P.I.D.D. syndrome is infecting my students and it’s disrupting my math class. It must be stopped!” Another teacher who thinks math is the most important thing in the world said. “After International Days, students were missing my test because of how sick they were and I couldn’t give them the really important Trigonometry test on irrational functions that I coincidentally required immediately after the event because math is more important than dancing, in my opinion.”

“After hearing complaint after complaint, such as the previous, the counselors teamed up with a solution,” the head of the counseling department said. “We all recommend that teachers kind of, you know, just go with it. If a student dances bachata with you, simply dance along with them. It’s good exercise, anyways.” “Students should be allowed to express their feelings about missing International Days,” said, a counselor who also got emotional enough about I-Days to start tearing up. “If they start to cry over missing their club, give them a tissue or two or three. If your students have P.I.D.D. syndrome- simply keep them at home!”

“It seems that the excessive homework after I-Days is what is making this epidemic spread faster! Ease up on the academic stress for these students,” another counselor said. “Keep in mind that these students are going through a lot. Piling on more homework and tests when they catch P.ID.D. syndrome won’t make them get better-if anything, it could lead to infection and leave teachers with a lot of poorly- done assignments for them to grade. Talk about a waste of trees!”

SYMPTOMS OF P.I.D.D. Syndrome:

• Excessive wearing of club hoodies

• Excessive wearing of club costumes; jewelry may be included

• Wearing the International Days 2016 wristband several days, weeks or even

months, after the event

• Loitering around Gym I during inapprorpiate school hours

• Wandering to the basement to get one last look at club booths, maybe even

signing it if students did not do so during the event

• Zombie-like appearance

• Unusual choice of shoewear (depending on the club; this may include no shoes

at all)

• Crying

• Excessive carrying around of tea or coffee

• Incorporating club dance routine into everyday affairs

• Denial that International Days is over

• Lack of motivation

• The presence of this symptom is a sign of infection